I recently confided to my therapist about the challenges of making new friends as a working mom. Why is it that even with, I don’t know, millions of people in my corner of the world, it is so rare to meet those who share similar priorities and passions?
My therapist validated my frustrations. She didn’t have an answer for why I wasn’t making new friends, but she did pose an interesting question. Were any of my old friends still in the picture? What about them?
I used to resent my child-free girlfriends for not inviting me to social gatherings. They didn’t even bother to ask. I figure that people assume that as soon as a woman becomes a mother, that we lose all sense of personal identity in a social sense. (I am not so certain that the same perception extends to men who become fathers.)
No matter how far our society seems to progress, women are generally expected to meet certain milestones by certain deadlines. And why is that? Nobody seems to place as much importance on other parts of a wonderful life. Like having a close-knit squad of girlfriends who love and cherish the time you spend together. Or a career that you wake up eager through which to make a positive impact on the world.
Admittedly, my life does tend to revolve around raising my children and working. Did I succumb to the pressures of a capitalistic society to get married, get a job, and have kids? Or did I simply allow my friendships to fall to the wayside because I didn’t believe I could have it all?
I recently stumbled across a female finance blog that challenged the misconception that lifestyle elements are not accessible unless you are super rich. The host suggested that most people believe their home to be unfit for social gatherings, when in fact, even the smallest of spaces can host dinner parties. It does not need to be lavish. A home that brings friends together is nurturing to the soul and wallet, squashing the urge to constantly dine out instead of cooking at home.
I looked outside my office window…and a light bulb went off. Why wasn’t I using my backyard?
The truth is that I never saw it as anything more than an empty space.
But what if that space could be converted into a patio? An outdoor kitchen? Perhaps a fountain and pergola to make it even more spectacular? Mission Hills is home to some beautiful residences that were transformed by landscapers, hired by homeowners who desired their own little slice of heaven. I gave the reputable Torrey Pines Landscape Company a call and the next day, I was speaking to their owner and architects to lay out my vision.
Women are told that we can and can’t have it all. Sure, I may not have it all, but I am figuring it out, one day at a time, with the expert help of a professional landscaper. My single days of making new friends at downtown clubs, restaurants, and bars may be behind me, but my backyard has a bright future of hosting many fabulous parties my oldies but goodies.
If you are ready to transform your outdoor space, you can give Torrey Pines Landscape Company a call today.
Torrey Pines Landscape Company
5560 Eastgate Mall, San Diego, CA 92121, United States