Divorce Mediation divorce mediation California, marital mediation, marriage mediation, mediation to stay married

Saving Lost Intimacy In Marriage Through Mediation

In my favorite HBO show about 4 single women in their thirties finding love and happiness, we see an honest portrayal of imperfectly modern relationships.

The narrator and lead protagonist, Carrie Bradshaw, meets many different types of men through her own dating adventures and other personal anecdotes from her 3 best friends: Charlotte York, Miranda Hobbes, and Samantha Jones.

Befitting his name, Carrie’s most tumultuous and enthralling relationship is a man named Mr. Big. Carrie describes him like she does New York City: larger than life. 

Carrie meets Big by bumping into him on a busy street—a classic New York City moment. She is instantly smitten by him, but it takes a few more unplanned encounters for them to decide to actually plan to meet for dinner.

And when they do, it turns out that Big has made their dinner something other than a date by inviting his uptight and recently divorced friend to join them. Carrie leaves money for the only thing she’s ordered, her drink, and tells Big to call her when he decides he is ready for a dinner with just the two of them .

As the show progresses, it becomes clear that their awkward first non-date was evidence of Big’s, well, biggest weakness: commitment.

He dates Carrie non-exclusively without telling her. He doesn’t introduce her at all, or as anyone more than a friend, to anyone in his life. He is reluctant to requite her declaration of love. She begs him to tell her that she’s the one, and of course, he doesn’t. 

They reunite, and after becoming comfortable enough with one another, Carrie becomes utterly convinced that she and Big have lost their spark for intimacy due to the fact that she unintentionally farted while they were snuggled in bed one morning. 

As it turns out, the fart wasn’t really the issue and that Big simply is not capable of being as emotionally available as Carrie wishes he would be.

Carrie and Big reconcile, only for Big to move to another continent without planning to continue their relationship. When Big returns to New York City, now engaged to a 20-something he met during his time abroad, he confides to Carrie that he is unhappy in his marriage and initiates an affair—one that is not his first. Big had already cheated on his first wife. Like many marriages that end up as divorces in Orange County, his first marriage ended due to his infidelity.

Unfortunately, it is all too common for people to try to escape their relationship issues through infidelity. Instead of saving the intimacy that has been lost with their partner, they seek that intimacy by cheating with someone else. 

Free Man in Brown Long Sleeve Shirt and Blue Denim Jeans Standing Near White Wall Stock Photo

The biggest and most common challenge is marriage is often communication. It’s easy to lose control and say something you don’t mean in the heat of the argument. Marriage Mediation helps couples who know that they want to try to save their marriage before ending it. An expert marriage mediator facilitates discussions between spouses to help them overcome the challenge of practical communication. If you and your spouse are ready to explore whether marital mediation or divorce mediation is right for your relationship, you can give McNamee Mediations a call today.

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *